The store had but one of that one special gift
When another man reached for it, we had a tiff
As I rained blows upon him that dark winter's day
I knew that there had to be a better way
And thus a new season was born for the rest of us
A yearly tradition we now know as Festivus
And is there a tree? No, instead there's a pole
Aluminum, for its high strength-to-weight ratio
Tinsel's distracting, and leave out the bows
And no stars and no orbs and no lights all aglow
And the dinner, the night of the Festivus feast
After meatloaf is served in the stead of roast beast
Comes the airing of grievances, lacking good cheer
Where I tell how you've all disappointed this year
And when grievances have aired for some greatish length
Then, only then, come the feats of great strength
We wrestle, and Festivus will only end
When the head of the household's been properly pinned
